You have been an exemplary dog for nearly 7 years, and I have never before needed to write a letter of warning to you. Even through the worst of your reactivity, we have been able to work out a nice balance of special accomodations and appropriate behavior. However, your behavior today was simply inexcusable.
Now, perhaps you've been feeling a bit ignored lately- after all, we have recently hired a new canine companion who has changed some of the social dynamics here at the Thompson Household. However, I would like to remind you that you did participate in the screening and hiring process of Pyg.
Or, maybe you've heard my comments about how you are "the most expensive dog ever" these past few months. I'd like to point out that this was hyperbole on my part, and not to be taken seriously. In particular, it was not a challenge to which you need to rise.
I will state this as simply as possible: Rat poison is not food. Further, when vomiting is induced following such a dietary indiscretion, the resulting puke is also not food.
Please refrain from eating either of these substances in the future, or I may need to take further action.
CEO of the Thompson Household
Note to blog readers: Maisy is fine. She attempted to eat some rat poison at a neighbor's house this morning. Since I wasn't sure if she actually got some or not, I contacted our vet, who advised us to induce vomiting, which I did. There did not appear to be any poison in her puke, and she's been just fine since then, but still. THIS DOG.